A Hand That Wants to Fist

I’d really enjoy experiencing my partner’s whole pussy around my hand, but I am afraid it may be too big! We have tried with almost success, and a lot of fun, but it wouldn’t go in beyond my fingers. What can we do to loosen the mood, or is there just no way without harming her (which I obviously do not want to do)?

Hudson Cole and his puppy extraordinaireFisting is one of the most intense, special and intimate things two partners can do… or one AWESOME party trick, depending on how you want to spin it.

For a lot of reasons, this seems to be a pretty edgy topic among most people. Frankly, I find it shocks people. Incredibly, though, the practice is fairly commonplace in the medical realm. They just use the vanilla code phrase “perennial massage.” Mommies in the know or first time expectant mothers probably have already run across this phrase. In fact, most doctors (though not all) consider this intensive type of “vaginal massage” a vital part of helping to  increase muscle strength and prevent any tearing during actual child birth. It’s like Wheaties for your pussy!

Obviously, you have discovered the merits of multi-digit finger-play on your own. This is common, as most couples who fist tend to discover it on their own simply as a matter of due course. Things become heated, and the foreplay is getting hotter and hotter, and before you know it, the lady is asking for more and more in order to achieve a fuller feeling. To be “full” is what her body craves at that moment. Depending on how long the session lasts (before your partner just can’t take anymore) you might find your fingers slowly disappearing until there isn’t anything left to go in except a thumb. I say to you, dear sir (or madam): well done. That is one  highly aroused woman.

That said, I wouldn’t worry too much about fitting your whole hand in there. This doesn’t mean that you’ve failed (and really, ask yourself what the goal really is in this situation, or why you even have a goal at all — another article for another day). If you are using lots and lots of lube, eating plenty of pussy while you work, going very very slowly, and communicating every step of the way, I am willing to bet that she is having the most powerful orgasms of her life every time. More than likely, no one but you cares if you fit your whole hand in there or not. Would it be “neat”? Yes. Is is always possible? Hell no. Keep in mind that size matters.

The act of fisting is pretty well know inside lesbian circles. The facts are that they understand female anatomy better, and they typically have smaller fists. To further illustrate, here is a simple math problem: Shaquille O’Neal dates 5 average sized women. How many does he fist? ANSWER: None. Because he has freak hands. Deal with it. Limits exist in our universe.

So how do you know if you can or can’t? Take heart. Most of us don’t have disproportionate fists or vaginas so most of us are in the clear. If both partners are game, then it’s worth a few tries. I actually encourage it. I promise that once you figure out how to add it to your bag of tricks you will never suffer from vanilla boredom again… ever.

The first thing to tackle is the mood. Vaginae and anuses as a group are nothing if not moody. If they don’t want to be fisted, then you can damn well bet they wont be. How exactly to get in that mood is really up to you and your partner. Listen, if I knew a universal formula to make all vaginas so excited and relaxed that they were willing to get fisted then I would be….I don’t even know, man. The point is, you have to figure this one out. Warm, welcoming environments are a big plus. Also, know that “slow” doesn’t even begin to describe the name of the game here. You need to wrap your mind around the fact that neither of you is going anywhere for a long, long time. Get comfy.

You’re going to have to establish a method of communication that is very open.  Talking back and forth is key. You both need to give feedback to one another and not be too focused. It’s easy to drop the ball of good communication as there is a lot going on all at once when you consider the fingers, the clitoral stimulation, the talking, etc… You’re going to send her slowly into the nether regions of the universe as you slowly travel further into her. You still need to communicate. You need to know when to “keep going,” “add another finger,” “stop,” “back up,” “take a deep breath,” and what ever else she needs. You have to respect how intense (and probably freaky) the feeling must be mentally, spiritually, physically, and emotionally for her.  Going slow and showing restraint is how you best show respect for this. It should go without saying that this is dangerous. There is a reason that fisting is not a “first date” activity. She has to trust you implicitly.

Remember the lube. What ever you both prefer (no desensitizing shit either — for anything — EVER). Something time tested and flavorless (silicone or water). I prefer silicone, but you will need to lay something down underneath her as it can stain sheets. Only use sex lube. I recommend going to Target and purchasing a pump soap dispenser. You need to clean and disinfect it before you put your lube in there. Put that new lube dispenser in a warm water bath. Perhaps wrapped in a washcloth or covered in rubber bands. Your free hand will be reaching for lube a lot, and you don’t want cold lube shocking your partner and moving progress backwards. You also don’t want it slipping out of reach. Think about it.

Surgical gloves are not a must-have item, but they help. Sanitary hands, trimmed nails, and no jewelry should also go without saying. Fisting can lead to an infection or irritation if all precautions are not taken. So, make sure she is working on an empty bladder. Also, you should both be sober. For realz.

As for the actual fisting, your tongue/vibrator/her fingers are doing amazing work and you are now sliding one finger and then another into her. When done properly you can actually feel the vagina begin to surrender to you. You will slowly simultaneously stimulate and relax the vaginal muscles over the course of the experience. Over time you will be able to provide that full feeling until the outer walls of her vagina are no longer pressing back but instead accommodating. You should be able to feel her vagina literally relaxing and she should be asking for more. You might try only massage and see if it works, you might try an in-and-out movement, you might try twisting motions, and more than likely you will try all of them. The important thing is that you are stimulating the G-Spot while you go.

As your hand becomes more and more welcomed you will get to a point when you think you have reached the limit. If you simply hold and take your time and deal with your finger cramps her super awesome lady bits will adjust and accommodate once again. This is impossible without lube and clitoral stimulation working together. At a certain point you will feel the vagina become excited at how full it has become and it will begin to clinch down before it excepts any more. If I have learned one thing in life, it’s that the vagina gives as good as it gets. It will clinch harder, then back off just as much, and so on and so on. Eventually you are at the tipping point. Something worth noting is how hard it is to actually get your whole fist into someone before they super-duper climax.

Once you are past the widest part of your hand she is pretty full and she has been getting a lot of clitoral stimulation. She is probably going to super-duper cum at any moment, never giving you the chance to fully fist her. Ultimately, you have created a ticking orgasmic time bomb with a hair trigger. If you are upset or disappointed because you didn’t get your whole man hand inside, you are missing the point.

Still, some readers might be wondering what it feels like. Fill a sink with water. Put your fist into a plastic shopping bag. Dunk your new sack fist into the water. Now imagine that sink is a beautiful women in heat who is squeezing your fist with orgasmic spasms so strong it feels like you have your hand stuck in farm equipment (vaginas are so STRONG). Ohh, and the screaming, don’t forget the really really hot screaming.

Last but not least, let’s remember how to get out of this predicament. The orgasm just experienced has more than likely put your partner into outer space. You want to avoid sending them rocketing back down to the hard earth. The rate and method of withdrawal is something that you are both going to have to work on. Sometimes, during orgasm, the act of removing your hand while pressing on the G-spot is the most effective and efficient method. Keep in mind that staying inside while they come all the way down, seems to make withdrawal more difficult.

I hope this provides some sort of insight to your playtime. With patience and a lot of absorbent towels I think you will both learn a lot and have a grand time.

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