Mr. Popper’s Poppers

Yo J-mo

My new boyfriend is asking me to try something called a “popper” before we have sex.  As someone who dabbles very little in drugs, I don’t see the appeal, but he says it’s different with sex. I guess it’s legal as well.  Is this stuff that harmful?

-Jake

J-mo a go-go!Gee Jake, I was really started to enjoy summer when you made me go do some research. Paraphrasing Wikipedia, let’s get the technical stuff out to the way. Poppers are basically nitrates which when inhaled relax the smooth muscles of the body which just so happens to include the sphincter muscles of the anus (and the vagina too but let’s stick to what’s your boyfriend is after).  Smooth muscle surrounds your body’s blood vessels so when you inhale poppers it causes the blood vessels to dilate which results in a quick increase in heart and blood flow. This in turn produces a sensation of warmth and excitement that lasts for a couple of minutes (sometimes a little more sometimes a little less).

They are relatively harmless if inhaled though it varies from person to person. I know some guys who can’t even go into a..er..”phone”…booth with a bottle of them for fear of a headache. Some warnings:  don’t spill them on your skin because it may burn baby burn. Plus (and this should be obvious if you’ve ever seen them labeled as “Video Head Cleaner”) it’s  poison and we always follow advice from Le Tigre: “Don’t, don’t drink poison”.

Medically it there is little potential harm when compared to other recreational drugs. NOTE: I did not say NO HARM, I also said when compare to other recreational drugs, which indicate potential harm. If you have any medical conditions do additional research before deciding if you want to try this. I’m not advocating their use just trying to give some background.

All this technical stuff isn’t advice though is it? And in lieu of another big disclaimer I’m going anecdotal. I’m not a big drug user. It was never really my thing. I tried a few and never made it a habit. Poppers on the other hand I have tried on and off throughout my sexual life. Sometimes they really add a nice hot rush, sometimes they give me a headache, sometimes they add a little extra oomph to the old masturbatory routine. It’s a 50/50 shot. I’d say if you don’t want to try them then don’t. Maybe you could let him do them while you both make the beast with two backs, the smell might get on your nerves but it shouldn’t be too bad unless spilled it. If you’re too nervous or just against it I hope you’re boyfriend doesn’t make it a deal breaker. If he does he’s an ass and should be dispensed with. If you give it a try I hope it goes well, good luck and though I referenced it in the title do not go see that Mr. Popper’s Penguins movie, it’s decidedly unsexy.

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