You’ve got your swooshy and handy iPhone. You’ve got your Droid with robot styling, a mini keyboard and android operating system. You’ve got GPS, pinch zoom, and on-demand reviews on small batch sake from Tulsan microdistilleries. Completely lost in this technological convolution of function and aesthetic is the gaping hole in the market for a five-star dick sleeve application. Until now. With the Flip Hole masturbator, Tenga has finally merged science with sleekness in something that is practically indistinguishable from the 25th century genitalia of an impossibly benevolent alien species. Thank you Japan.
Before we continue, you really need to click the link for the product page. Visualizing this product is important because, really, it looks like you’re expected to fuck a lobster tail with this one. There is a full obstacle course for your penis, ranging from the “Shield Flap” and “Quattro Wave” to “Wing Gate” and finally the “End Orb” which is kind of like the end boss of the level. This is no mere scientific cross-section — the Flip Hole works just like a flip phone and opens up for cleaning, drying and, when ready, direct application of lube for your next go. It comes with a bracket that allows it to close up for storage or travel, and serves as a drying stand where it looks more like a nightlight from Ikea than a masturbation sleeve. (No joke, I pulled the boneheaded move of leaving it in plain sight the other day where it drew compliments and curious inquiry from visiting friends.) Rounding out the package is a sample of three different types of “hole lotion” lube–mild, real, and wild–of varying viscosity to try out in addition to your own lubes at home.
As with prospective mates, I am typically highly suspicious of masturbation sleeves with this degree of ostentatious gimmick, but the Flip Hole is all function and very worth taking home and getting to know. The same bracket that closes the Flip Hole for storage also slides on from the other direction to hold the unit together during use. This keeps it rigid on the sides giving it the firmness of a Fleshlight, but allows it to flex on the top and bottom to give you control over the pressure. The nodules and chambers and whatnot provide an exhilarating experience; like the electron flows and amperes behind the operation of my light switches, I honestly don’t know how it works but, oh, it sure does. An unexpected experience is the fact that the asymmetric contouring gives it different experiences when used right-side-up or upside-down. Tilting it 90 degrees puts the flexibility on the sides and firmness on the top and bottom, changing the feel once again.
And you remember that “shield flap” component that came up earlier? In another surprisingly thoughtful feature of interior design, the Flip Hole has a sealing mechanism that prevents leaks during usage keeping your dick in and unwanted lube and splooge out. Finally, the unique ability to open and close this guy gives it a natural access to cleaning that is easy, less fussy than turning other sleeves inside out to dry (which often leaves the outside-in part a little damp unless you’re better at this than I am), and satisfyingly hygienic considering the nature of these things.
There are a few moments for pause here, but no real downsides. First, there are what look like buttons along the flexible top and bottom portions that supposedly control pumping and suction. Kinda. In use, these are the points that you would use to control the pressure, but there’s nothing especially fancy or mysterious here. Second, the unit is actually quite large. The interior should certainly fit men of all sizes, but there is a lot of external structure and, honestly, the larger your hands are the better you will be able to fully control the pressure. Finally, the Flip Hole is more costly than your typical masturbation sleeve, but if you divide the cost by the joy that will share in your new lives together, it’s worth it. I have gone back and forth using this and the Maven and the Sidekick–both also solid, recommended pieces to have in the arsenal–and it was hard to feel like I hadn’t moved on. Emotionally.
Let’s review: the Flip Hole by Tenga has all the features of a German-engineered luxury automobile. It has the styling sensibilities of Voltron. And it plays the role of wise older sibling to Motorola on how to achieve a real clam shell design. A highly recommended buy.