Introducing Toys to New Boys

Yo J-mo: What are some good toys to use with a new partner? And how would I go about incorporating them into my sex life without being totally awkward? Do I just whip out the toy box and ask him to pick one?

jasonDear Troubled in Toyland:
When it comes to toys and new partners I think it’s best to start small (there is a joke in there somewhere but I’m steering clear of it). Thinking small gets me to thinking along the lines of a vibrating cockring here (like the Magic Touch Cockring or the Leather Vibe Ring), a small butt plug (like Mae or Buddy) there.  Starting small enables you to treat the introduction of toys as something playful and non threatening. If you start with the life size fire hydrant dildo you picked up in Amsterdam on a whim, you may frighten your new pal before you get a chance to work up to something bigger. It’ll give you a chance to get an idea of how your new partner feels about toys in general. If they freak at the sight of a small buttplug there’s a good chance they won’t be excited about the rest of the equipment in your toybox. A vibrating cock ring can be slipped on before you get down to business, a quick trip to the bathroom and you come out with a new motor. When you start to play and you’re down to your skivvies you can murmur “Guess what I can do?” and then reach for the on button. It’s playful, non-threatening and hopefully you’ll both be buzzing before you know it.

Another alternative is to go shopping together, online or in person. If you’re anything like me, you dig a good shopping experience. It’ll give you and yours a chance to explore what’s out there together and see what excites, titillates, grosses out and makes each of you giggle. The bonus of a toy that you pick out and buy together is that it will be a new experience for both of you, with the added excitement of having a shopping trip that you can’t wait to get home from.

Once you’ve introduced the idea of a toy to your new partner then you can play each session by ear. If you want to get out the toy chest and have him pick one, go for it. You can make a game of it, give him the box and then offer to be blindfolded while he chooses.  The important thing is to make it fun for both of you so that any awkward moments of “Hey how do I turn this thing off” are met with playfulness rather than frustration.

Good luck and happy gadgeting.

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  • http://ofsexandlove.com/ Adriana

    If you haven't ventured into anal play before, I wouldn't go with a butt plug at all. That's too many new/taboo ideas at one.

  • http://ofsexandlove.com/ Adriana

    If you haven't ventured into anal play before, I wouldn't go with a butt plug at all. That's too many new/taboo ideas at one.